deeming and re-deeming

The topic of redemption arose yesterday, briefly, a couple of times. I let it ponder itself in my heartmind this morning.

We often look to redeem ourselves. In our own eyes and in the eyes of others. A natural human inclination, redemption means I turn in my old self for a new. I become as new.

There are some tricks for doing this. One is I lift myself up above others or out away from others into a special domain. I justify myself. Another is to go the other way, looking to redeem myself by seeing myself as a worm or as dirt. I punish myself. Neither of these work very well or for long. They are tricks I play.

What is true redemption? A clue is found in the word "redeem" itself. I have deemed myself as one way. Now I look to re-deem myself, to deem myself differently, as better, as more whole.

When we go a little deeper into demption, we find that the entire redemption saga comes about by deeming ourselves (as something) in the first place.

The Perfection of Wisdom says it well:
Just so the fool who has admitted into himself the notions of I and Mine
Is forced by that quite unreal notion of an I to undergo birth and death again and again.

Redemption means to be born again, anew. But if it is the I that is redeemed, to die again is certainly to follow. In this life now. One's self washer is stuck on an eternal redemption cycle.

True redemption is to stop deeming. No longer deeming myself as anything, not even deeming myself as nothing, simply giving up this whole deeming of me I do, I am redeemed and never need to deem again.