The scratcher scratches the itch of the scratcher.
No other itch is available.
I may say I am scratching your itch
but I am scratching whatever itch I have to scratch you.
Scratching someone else's itch does not produce
that exquisite moment of near-drool,
so when I own your itch I become a better scratcher.
Philosophers form scratching clubs
seeing who can satisfy the itch
the club decides needs scratching.
Some scratchers think that other scratchers
are scratching phantom itches and can get quite rude.
Others advocate Itch Respect.
Dedicated scratchers have their
favorite scratchers-of-long-ago,
a Scratcher Hall of Fame.
Unorthodox methods of scratching are
often looked on with disdain or ignored
-- until enough scratchers gather round its scratchfire.
When you create an itch, the scratchers will come.
But be careful.
There is nothing more dangerous than
a scratcher looking for an itch.
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Perhaps a scratcher who wishes to be lead scratcher and head of the latest successful itching movement is the most dangerous. Then, he or she appoints junior scratchers, a precise scratching process is devised and set in stone to become a tradition, and the story of how it came to be, is now, and will be, is written down and becomes orthodoxy. All other scratchers who practice different methodologies are labelled heretics and frauds.
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