choice map

Judger questions* include:
• Whose fault is it?
• What’s wrong with me?
• What’s wrong with the other person? Why are they always so dumb and irritating?
• How can I prove I’m right?
• How can I be in control?
• Why bother?
Judger questions generally lead to:
• A mood of pessimism, stress, and limitations
• A mindset that is reactive, inflexible, and judgmental
• Win-lose relationships and results (at work and at home)

Learner questions* include:
• What do I want?
• What do I appreciate about myself (and the other person)?
• What’s useful about this?
• What can I learn?
• What’s possible?
• What’s best to do now?
Learner questions generally lead to:
• A mood of optimism, hope, and possibilities
• A mindset that is thoughtful, flexible, and accepting
• Win-win relationships and results (at work and at home)

(Thanks to Marilee Adams for providing us all with this map.)